The unofficial bad day thread.

[Valerie]

The worst part is that he's still the lesser of two evils. Mom... is... a piece of work.

[Artemisia]

My mother is nice over all. She can a bit clingy. She worries about me a lot, but is patient enough to let me find my own way. She just kind of wishes that I would start dating.

[Valerie]

Yeah, my mom was always trying to push me into getting a boyfriend/wearing more revealing clothes to get a boyfriend/letting boys that I didn't like hang out in our house.
I should have rubbed it in her face when I got a girlfriend in 10th grade...

[Captain LeBubbles]

My dad did that dad thing that dad's do, you know, the 'no dating till you're forty' thing. Now that I've pretty much established that I don't date, he wants nothing more than for me to get a boyfriend. (I stress BOY because my dad doesn't know I'm biromantic and isn't finding out until after I leave home. If ever.)

Mom's pretty chill and is all 'it's your business blah blah blah', but she doesn't know either. I don't think she'd be any more okay with it, she'd just do that thing she does where she reminds me that as a Christian I have to live only one certain way.

[AmberBeth84]

Speaking of fathers, I haven't spoken to mine since I came out to him and it makes me feel very conflicted. On the one hand, I'm sad because he's my dad and while we don't see eye to eye on just about anything, I still love him and it hurts to be cut off unilaterally like that. On the other, he's racist and homophobic and about a million other things. When my mom asked him about who he liked in the Republican primary, he said he wouldn't be voting cause he won't vote for a Mormon or a Catholic. And listening to him when Obama was elected was actually painful. So from that side of things I'm glad I no longer have to put up with all his crap. Which then makes me feel guilty for thinking that way.

[Captain LeBubbles]

And listening to him when Obama was elected was actually painful.

The first thing my dad said to me when he got home that day (no, not even 'hello, how are you, did you have a good day') was "So did you hear we got a nigger president?" I can't believe my genes came from this man. *facepalm*

[AmberBeth84]

That sounds pretty similar to what dad said, though there were other profanities sprinkled throughout to show how he REALLY felt about the president. And if it weren't for the fact that I look so much like him that there's no question I'm his daughter I'd seriously hope that it wasn't the case.

[Artemisia]

My family is very nice, supportive, and I know that they accept me as a woman without any problems, but it often seems like they have a huge problem with me being lesbian even if they won't want to admit it. They make comments which can be very uncomfortable because they haven't really grasped that I don't like men. Overall, it can be very uncomfortable. It is wonderful to be accepted as a woman, but horrible to feel unaccepted as a lesbian.

Politically, we're all liberals.

[konaa]

My dad isn't mean or anything as bad as what you guys have said. I've never really had a relationship with him, though, and he almost seems to be pushing me into being something I'm not, sometimes... He does care, I know, but he doesn't show it very often.

As for political leanings, I tend to be pretty conservative, but I don't really identify as "Republican." I do believe in acceptance (of all kinds of people), though, and that's something I'm proud of.

[Artemisia]

Konaa,

I'm what one might call Center Left. . .big on personal freedoms, but I believe the government is there to balance inequities between the classes, between people, and to make sure people's rights aren't trampled upon while seeking to balance the needs of the many with the needs of the few.

My father and I just never got along because he was always distant. I really have always felt like he never wanted children.

[Otaking]

Konaa I'm sure you're firmly tongue in cheek about this one but I just wanted to say:

Maybe when I'm in college and calling home I'll pull a "By the way, I'm bisexual" before hanging up. Now THAT would be interesting...

Don't do that, I may be the one advocating lying to folks that overstep the bounds of tact but I'm going to tell you that's not a respectful way to treat your parents who have surely invested a lot in your upbringing. If they are anything like mine they are wrongheaded about a lot of things but their hearts are in the right place concerning their family. You'll find a lot of people out there that have the maternal/paternal instincts of a cockroach by contrast.

If you have a SO that you're serious about at some point and feel the need to introduce, do it like that instead. Basically don't act any different than you would with a traditional relationship and then they can freak out if they think it's still worth it with the recipient of your affections standing right there. Or perhaps deny you the rights to come visit if the conservative "high" ground is worth cutting their offspring out of their life in an over-the-phone situation. If it's a scene, then it's a scene but it's on them not you as you've taken the high road.

Valerie, my wife and I didn't have rings for a couple of years. When the finances got better we ordered a pair of simple platinum bands from e-weddingbands.com...sometimes I feel this was really tacky, and we only ever had a justice of the peace ceremony...life was too tumultuous to do things better and I regret this...my early career days and her early mysteries of illnesss... I doubt this kind of thing is uncommon in today's economy though. Hell most aren't even getting married. I'm proud of being married (on the days when I'm not in abject misery due to all the medical crap) and enjoy showing off my beautiful wife, and that we belong to each other. We had something of a 'practical' reason for getting them too as um...extracurricular...activities were planned when she was in better health. >_> Things are better when no one is confused you see. <_<

[Valerie]

We actually bought rings, and Morgan was really excited about them. I bought them because wearing rings is just what married people do, and I tried because Morgan was happy wearing his, but I went to hold his hand and immediately jerked away. Stupid metal was in the way of my hand-holds. D: It felt wrong.

[konaa]

Konaa I'm sure you're firmly tongue in cheek about this one but I just wanted to say:

Maybe when I'm in college and calling home I'll pull a "By the way, I'm bisexual" before hanging up. Now THAT would be interesting...

Don't do that, I may be the one advocating lying to folks that overstep the bounds of tact but I'm going to tell you that's not a respectful way to treat your parents who have surely invested a lot in your upbringing. If they are anything like mine they are wrongheaded about a lot of things but their hearts are in the right place concerning their family. You'll find a lot of people out there that have the maternal/paternal instincts of a cockroach by contrast.

I was being sarcastic more than anything (darn internet and the lack of body language etc.) WHEN I do come out to my parents (because I WILL someday) I'm definitely gonna do it in person. Although the prospect of being some distance away from them to soften the fear does sound appealing, I think it's better to announce anything important in person (unless of course the people in question live in different countries, but... I'm probably gonna go to college in the state I live in now.) What I PLAN to do in college is finally look for an SO without worrying what my parents think, and then when I find someone I like enough THEN introduce them to the folks. (If I can find anyone at all - I'm pretty skeptical about relationships in general now.) And if my parents have a problem with whoever I'm with, well, I'm not living in their house anymore so it's my choice who I want to date.

I don't think my parents would cut me out of their lives, but I think they'd have a hard time accepting the fact I'm not straight. I'm actually more worried about my dad, since my relationship with him is neutral at best. I'm not totally sure what me and my mom's relationship is at this point in time... we used to be really close but now I feel a bit distant from all my family members.

[Artemisia]

Konaa,

I know that when I came out to my parents it was difficult. My mother had so many plans for me, and so many expectations. I waited and did it in person. It took a while for my mother to get through it, but she realized that I needed to be happy.

I hope that, when things are right, you'll tell your parents and they will be happy.

[Captain LeBubbles]

Maybe when I'm in college and calling home I'll pull a "By the way, I'm bisexual" before hanging up. Now THAT would be interesting...

(Scenes from a Hat)

Suggestion: Things not to do last minute.

Greg: Have a good first day at school! Daddy's gay. *leaves*
Wayne: :o

(Sorry, been binging on Whose Line lately and it seemed so appropriate. I'll take my positive stuff to the happy thread now.)