Affections and candies to everybody. I haven't been checking in as much as I used too--I've been mega busy. >.<
And I hate posting like this, but I literally have no one else to talk to, so I'll bitch here.
For lack of anywhere else to post this saga:
Last week two big things happened--my boyfriend and I decided to get a place and move out of my brother's house (yes, we're moving pretty fast, but I'm not signing the lease, so it's not so complicated, and we've been living together at my brother's for the past six weeks), and I had a job interview for a full time position at a learning center (same company, but different franchise). I got the interview scheduled on Wednesday. It was the first moment since I left teaching that I finally felt like I could do something in my life I might enjoy; maybe I can't teach in public schools, but I can continue working with education and students at a learning center and make a career out of it. After work on Wednesday, my brother called me up to ask me some questions, and while I HATE driving and talking on the phone, I tried to answer them quickly. I mentioned that I had this interview that I was really excited for, and he blew me off to tell me about how he was talking to this girl the previous night for hours and hours (not a girl he's interested in, and she's dating someone, just that he was able to make a friend). At this point I'm stressed from talking on the phone while driving, and upset that he blew me off because he felt that his news was so much more important (or interesting?), so I told him that I was driving and really wanted to get off the phone. He never congratulated me on the interview (even my overbearing mother was excited for me).
Thursday the interview went exceptionally well. I know that they are looking at a lot of candidates, but I felt incredibly confident about it, and really felt hopeful about a future career.
Friday my boyfriend and I went looking for apartments, and found one that we liked. While looking, the people we were talking to were assuming we were signing the lease together, so that really stressed me out and BF and I talked about it, and I decided I wasn't comfortable with cosigning a lease, so I'm going to be listed as an occupant.
I was supposed to hear from them by Monday or, at the lastest, Tuesday (yesterday). Monday I heard nothing, and broke down crying in the middle of the day when out to lunch with BF. Yesterday... I also heard nothing. I've been stressing out about this interview since Sunday night, and BF has been very worried about me because I am just not handling it well. We also have been getting very tired with living with my brother (he is rather difficult to live with--plays music very loudly at all hours and jumps around the house/makes loud noises. But we're not paying rent, so...).
Both Monday and last night after work BFand I have gone to his parents' place to pack up his things/clean his room/etc.
Last night, while at BF's, my brother called me and asked me where I was and if I'd be coming home. I told him I was. Now, a few weeks ago he had planned for a bunch of his friends from out of state to come down and visit. He hasn't cleaned his house since he bought it a year ago. He doesn't even have furniture for it--last Thursday I went to Costco with our mom to buy him folding chairs and a folding table so he could house games night and house this D&D party he's having. So he's calling me stressed from work and from cleaning his house asking (telling) me to clean his house because he just doesn't have the time.
Sunday he went to a party and got drunk enough that BF and I had to go out and get him to take him (and his car) home. Monday he went swing dancing and talked with a friend for hours about drama she's going through. And so clearly it is not his fault that he just cannot get his house clean. But I have all this time and I can help him out. And "I realize that you're stressed about the job, but it's not that big of a deal--you'll find one eventually."
So after we hang up, I tell his to BF, and he is PISSED that I'm getting walked on. But that's how it is in my family, and I always back down because it's just easier to do whatever they want than it is to fight. I hate fighting. But BF is not at all happy that I now have to clean my brother's house for my brother's party that BF and I need to be away for (another reason why we're jumping the gun on finding a place--we can't be here this weekend so my brother's friends have a place to stay).
We hit Giant on the way home so I can buy cleaning supplies, and get to my brother's. I then start talking to him about how I was upset at the way he talked to me over the phone. BF tried to pipe in but I immediately said "BF, this is not your place. Please do not get involved" and he got the message and walked upstairs. My brother then tried to talk me down, using bullshit reasons "You say you don't have time tomorrow to clean the house--if you get the job you're not going to get more time!" "...I don't see how that is at all relevant to this argument." and belittling my stress while saying's he's SO stressed and emphasizing which messes are mine (boo hoo, a couple of things in the fridge and two cups that can be thrown away, unlike the food all over the floor that he spilled last week and soda, cereal, and ice cream boxes everywhere and so much more). And then I have to wait around and listen to him vent about all the things that are stressing him out (the girl last night at dance bitching about her ex for hours, and two of the people visiting this weekend hate each other's guts), even though it's really late and I need to sleep he needs to vent so that is what I have to do. Around midnight, BF comes downstairs to get me to bed because it's so late.
As we're getting ready for bed, he's trying to put the duvet back on my blanket but he's struggling so then I try to take over but he tries to help and it's so damn confusing that I just get angry then break down and cry. And he tries to console me, and he talks about how he's not going to let me get walked over anymore, and I tell him it's not his place to do so, and he responds that one day it will be his place (we're assuming that this relationship will work out because, actually, it logically makes sense, and is another story), and I tell him that we could be married for 50 years and it wouldn't be his place to get in between myself and my brother, and he responds that he's not okay with there being two men in the relationship and...
Did anybody else get confused by that? Because I sure as hell did. >.< I give him a look and ask, "What the hell does that even mean?" He's apparently concerned that after we move out my brother will still be asking me favors. I assure him that this won't be the case, but only time will tell.
In the morning he has work, I go for my run (finishing my C25K program, which is exciting) and get back to the house. My brother and I talk for a bit, and he apologizes in a back-asswards way. "You don't have to clean TOMORROW, but by Thursday afternoon if you could pitch in I'd really appreciate it. And I'm sorry you misunderstood me because I wasn't expressing myself very well, but you were listening just as well as I was talking, and you did contribute to the mess."
Because, you see, even when he's wrong, he's right.
So he goes to work, and I shower and wait to call, and I called them around 11:20 and the person there did not have an answer for me, and about twenty five minutes ago they called and said they had two perfect candidates for the position. I was one of them. But the other person had management experience and so selected them instead.
But that they expect to be growing soon (they have three centers already) and that they are planning on expanding and expect a full time position to open up in the not too distant future and will keep me in mind.
So that's my shitty week. It's not as shitty as it could be, but still shitty. So I'm just trying to focus on Friday when BF and I will be getting a bed in the apartment and we can move out of my brother's and thus have a clean place to live, a place where we can cook for ourselves, and no loud musing/jumping around all the time.
Cheers to everyone. Hope everyone has an improvement in their week. <3
Alice Macher wrote:CJ gets a shiny, gold-plated Internet and a box of Ferrero Rocher chocolates.
Hexr wrote:I think I'm in love with you, CJ. Hope you don't mind.