OT: how is ableism an -ism?

[Twitcher]

Mine and Sis's "jobs" in Elementary School and Junior High were to escort and watch over the mentally disabled and emotionally volatile kids-- to do our PCAs jobs for them while they gossipped and/or got drunk. Me, I wanted to be a writer or a voice actress, Sis wanted to be anywhere but working in special ed. We both managed to get out of it eventually by mentioning that, should we inform our parents about this training program, dear ol' Mom and Dad were liable to get emotionally volatile in the Principal's Office...

Sis and I do want to get some decent jobs (Sis has done some volunteer work for the Salvation Army) but we're sort of at a loss as to how to put bread on the table. Secretarial Work? Telemarketing? Radio?

[Valerie]

I assume you're left-handed? You mentioned trouble with your right hand, but then mentioned secretarial work as a possibility.

Telemarketing has got to be pretty emotionally taxing. I wouldn't recommend it. D: (To clarify, I mean I wouldn't recommend it to anyone. I'm not even sure how it's still a thing.)

Maybe you could try for a management position in retail, if you've got enough experience. That would pay decently, not great, but decently.

I'm a food worker*, so this is a little difficult for me to think about. I'm sorry. >_O

*I am really, really sorry if this is offensive, because I was going to mention food work (here, there's a certification you can get in one class that qualifies you to be a manager), but I'm not sure how much motor control you would need to work with things like knives safely.

[Twitcher]

Yep, leftie. I'm a fairly slow typist, hunt-and-peck is quicker for me than FGHJ, AND DragonDictate's been recommended to me. Don't apologize. It's all cool.

[Bardlp]

That makes me sick. Especially with the bolded part.

To be strictly fair, they're retired and think they've "put in their time". I still think it's a crock what they're doing, regardless. You wouldn't think it'd be such a leap from "You know, I just can't work like you because I'm old" to "You know, I just can't can't work like you because I've got a couple of mental limitations coupled with a pretty intense physical limitation" but for some reason they just can't make that breakthrough.

That's like telling me I have to carry 100 pound bags for eight hours a day. I am physically unable to do that. Why would you ever, ever try to make someone who lacks the ability to lift 100 pounds do that?

This is it exactly. We keep trying to get him a niche position carved out somewhere where he's just doing a couple of things that are challenging but achievable. We almost got one at a gym where he'd be doing the member check at the door for around ten hours a week, but they wouldn't let go of the towel folding requirement. I spent about half an hour with him trying to see if he could fold towels. Can't lift full sized bath towels high enough to fold them while sitting.

Me, I wanted to be a writer or a voice actress, Sis wanted to be anywhere but working in special ed. [...]

Sis and I do want to get some decent jobs (Sis has done some volunteer work for the Salvation Army) but we're sort of at a loss as to how to put bread on the table. Secretarial Work? Telemarketing? Radio?

Writing is a possibility if you still want to do it. There was a gal in one of the programs I worked who had her job coach edit her writing and help her submit it to publications.

I don't know anything about your living and financial situation, but if you're getting SSDI you've got an opportunity a lot of people don't. You've got a base income that'll allow you to look for work that you actually enjoy without threatening your survival. College (university, tech school, or community college) are possibilities, depending on your finances, tolerances, and interests. Depending on your physical limitations, secretarial or reception might work out -- a lot of places have different ideas of what a secretary does, and a lot of places have secret stuff they don't tell you about until the first day. Things to consider for any job are your fine motor and especially your constitution. I've been doing reading about CP lately, and it looks like there're a fair number of people with CP who report increasing fatigue with age (big surprise, right? But it's not one of the things doctors are told to look for).

But here's one thing that I feel like doesn't get stressed enough -- Nobody knows what they're going to do to put bread on the table. It's okay to get out and try things and fail. Most people end up in jobs they never even knew were out there. Talk to the people at businesses you hang out at and find out if there's some part of the job they hate doing. Maybe it's something you like. I think part of the reason they tolerate me at work is because I actually like doing budgets and taxes and other financial stuff with people and everybody else hates it. Get out and volunteer. Even if you don't get a job from the people you're volunteering for, the people you're volunteering with will get to like you and they'll keep their eyes out for you if you let them know you're looking for work.

Required plug: And there are services available. I don't know what state you live in, but many have workforce development centers where you can use their computers and classes to develop skills and contacts. If you have a social worker, they might be able to hook you up with a supported employment agency -- just be careful about us. Do tours and try to talk to more than just the administrators. Especially try to talk to the people who you'll be working with without the supervisors around. You'll learn a lot about the attitudes of the company that way.

You'll both do fine, whatever you decide to do.

[Artemisia]

Yep, leftie. I'm a fairly slow typist, hunt-and-peck is quicker for me than FGHJ, AND DragonDictate's been recommended to me. Don't apologize. It's all cool.

Dragon Naturally Speaking can be more of a pain to work with than a help. I've tried it because there are times when my hands won't function properly. Unfortunately, if I get flustered, I stutter, and that was a problem. The program requires a long time to get use to your speech patterns, and for me, my speech patterns can change depending on how I'm talking or my mood.

Work with what is best for you, though. I mean, I know this sound kind of odd, but author Terry Pratchett has a rare form of Alzheimer's that is attacking his motor functions. Rather than give up writing, he now dictates to a live person.

As for being a writer, that is what I am. I have my little blog and it makes enough money for me to get some stuff that I want/like and I can help out my family. I am probably going to have to go on SSDI, though, and am starting to wonder if I should start seeing a psychologist- that is, if I can find one that I can be comfortable with.

[CtheLemming]

My (chronic) friends & I have actually discussed how sometimes we wish we had cancer instead, because then there's no need to explain your unheard of complicated medical condition, or struggling to get across how it effects your life and that it's not going to get better, or fighting to be taken seriously, or trying to elicit some form of understanding or at least empathy (not sympathy, this is an important distinction) from others.
I mean, it's not nice to have either, and if you do recover, you live under the constant possibility of relapse, and not making it this time... but when you say "I have cancer" people just immediately accept it and have at least a minimum of understanding. (And for some of us, dying as a result of our conditions is a possibility anyway... and we don't get possibilities of recoveries, at best long remissions) But it is very frustrating that unless you've got cancer, you're not really sick. Unless you're completely weelchair bound, you're not really disabled.

I can see how having a solid label that people supposedly take more seriously would be nice, but it doesn't really work out that way in practical application. I've been through cancer twice, and not only have the side effects left me with other disabilities and chronic issues, it's not a universal "oh, I accept that" on the part of other people. Because you don't ever get rid of "having cancer." You can get remission, you can get no evidence of disease, but there's no getting away from it. The long-term side effects (in my case, we're talking a reach of 20+ years, and I'm only 28) on the physical and psychological levels are always there. And while people understand while you're actively in treatment, they figure once you're done, you're back to "normal." Heaven help you if you aren't, because then you're a malingerer, a faker, someone who "enjoys" being sick because you like the attention, or you're just not trying hard enough to get "better."

So many of us don't get "better." Most survivors I know call it "new normal." You aren't ever going back to "normal" for everyone else, and for those of us who grew up with cancer, we don't know or remember "normal." We are who we are--ostomies, mobility problems (my major one), learning disabilities, vision or hearing deficits, mental health concerns, all of it and more. That's how it is, and while it's hard for the individual survivor to get through, it's apparently harder for society.

There's an unspoken societal expectation that all survivors have to be little Lance Armstrongs, walking inspirations who go about like there was never anything wrong in the first place, where you only talk about your experiences to motivate and inspire (or raise money), but otherwise need to shut up about it because good God why can't you let it go, already? There's discrimination in the workforce (sooo many stories of illegal firings), poor accessibility in schools and public places (my campus is exhausting if you're mobility-challenged), and a general inability to wrap minds around the idea that cancer isn't just something that some dude on a bicycle deals with or that you can buy a pink ribbon trinket and forget about.

(And this is aside from the rather dysfunctional "tiers" of cancer "badness" or that someone doesn't deserve sympathy/empathy because "they brought it on themselves." I know other survivors who've had people say to them that their cancer wasn't "that bad" compared to others. Hodgkin's Lymphoma? Not that bad. Colon? Terrible. Thyca? Not that bad. Leukemia? You poor, poor soul. Or if someone has skin cancer--Well, if they hadn't been in the sun so much... One mom in our support community lost her son to lung cancer. Someone had the brass... effrontery... to imply it was because her son smoked. One, he didn't smoke. Two, like that totally invalidates someone's suffering?)

I too have had people imply I'm faking my disability. I've been told my chronic pain is in my head or that it's not as bad as all that, despite having to use crutches most of the time to get around. If I have a good day pain-wise and decide to go crutchless, well, must not really need to take the elevator, hmmm? Random people can be jackasses about it; the last university I was at, people would let doors slam in my face or let elevator doors close on me or my crutches. I got dirty looks from able-bodied people (university athletes were usually the ones who'd pull this) when I'd squeeze onto elevators. It sucked. Here the people are nicer, even if the campus is less accessible.

I've also been infantilized in doctors' offices--apparently despite advanced education, I can't be spoken to like an educated adult. I manage my care, I do meticulous research, but it often does me no good; if I don't assert myself and my knowledge of my medical history, I get treated like a child, but if I am assertive, I get disregarded or treated even more poorly.

All it's served to do with me is make me outwardly assertive (even aggressive) about equal access and quality care, and inwardly very, very exhausted with reality. I've developed a bit of a reputation for being aggressive or even militant about people knowing (and using!) their patient rights and responsibilities. I'm also steadily turning into an ADA advocate on my campus, because this place is terrible for accessibility.

Sorry. I don't want this to come across as a rejection of how you and your friends feel; I just wanted to chime in that this is another disabled person who agrees wholeheartedly with you (loved your first post and wanted to go "Right on!" the whole time I was reading it) and comes at the same issues with a particular perspective. I get what you're saying--people "understand" cancer, but from where I sit, their actual comprehension is often zilch.

EDIT: Sorry again, I just saw the dates of the posts I was replying to. I apologize for necroposting; I usually have better manners than this.

[Zanosuke Kurosaki]

Hey, no worries, C. You had a very interesting point of view to share. Welcome to the board!

[oddtail]

CtheLemming: I don't think there's anything wrong with posting to an old-ish thread. Plus, like Zanosuke said, you had something meaningful to share.

And welcome to the board =^_^=